Opposites attract? There are instances where couples just don’t make sense, especially when you’d learn more about the two of them.
Some couples seem to defy convention, like a high-earning, super-conservative banker who divorces his kind, sweet, emotionally stable wife of 20 years to date a woman with no degree
Shadow Side Attachment is a phenomenon where people are attracted to those who represent their ability to explore a side of them that they don’t normally get to explore
For example, the good girl who wants to escape her "good girl" image for a while may end up with a "bad boy" who does all sorts of crazy things involving sex, drugs, and maybe a motorcycle.
On the other hand, the bad girl wants to date a good boy who can give her the stability her lifestyle can’t afford her. She wants to have moments where she can bake cookies and just be a normal person.
People who get Shadow Side Attachment don’t necessarily fall in love with the person as much as they fall in love with the fact that the person represents their ability to explore
Dr. Cookerly calls Shadow Side Attachment a form of "false love" because it’s not really sustainable. After all, polar opposites generally have clashing lifestyles and goals
While the forbidden nature of a shadow side love may be sexy at the start, it often dissolves into bickering and quarreling about every little thing
In the case of the acquaintance and his mistress, it lasted a good two months before he tried to return to his wife, tail between his legs.
However, once in a blue moon, you’ll see a couple that is based on Shadow Side Attachment that actually does turn into a serious, stable, and loving relationship.